Monday, September 10, 2007

the hardest thing

I think that when we are living and working somewhere, it's hard at first, as beginnings always are, scary, hard, but then we get used to it. It becomes a routine, and something familiar. Then soon we are liking it, even loving it - work, roommates, house, city, so then when deciding to move or take a new job or be in a new city, that is another new beginning, and again, it is hard, scary, and I think that is what I am feeling right now. The sense of being comfortable and liking where I am, the city, my roommates, my coworkers, my friends, my job, and moving to LA, a new city with new roommates and friends and work, it's scary, and it's making me nervous, anxious, and a little stressed.

I think it comes down to, when we are to deviate from what we are comfortable with, take a big step out of our comfort zone, take a risk, a leap, a chance, it is scary. It is nervewracking. It makes me anxious, and stressed. But I made this decision over the course of a few months, and sat on the decision for weeks before making it final. And I feel happier and more excited each day that it gets closer to that decision to take place, but at the same time, as the time approaches to leave my comfort zone in SF, it is also scary and stressful. But I made the decision, and I am sticking to it because I know I made the right now, and while it's hard now to leave what I know, love, and am comfortable with, it would be even harder to do that months or years from now when I am even more deep rooted here with work, home, friends, roommates, etc. And my LA decision is one that will be the best for me long term on all levels and areas, esp work.

At least I recognize that the hardest thing is to break away from what we are most comfortable with, and often times, we give up what we want to really do because it's scary, and we'd rather do what we are comfortable doing, being, living, etc.

It's sink or swim time. And I plan to swim. All the way.